10 Divorced Couples Share Advice That Could Have Saved Their Marriage

“Show respect for what each person brings to the relationship. We tend to inflate what we bring and down play what the other contributes. Let’s use a generic, if maybe outdated, example: One person goes to work and earns the money while the other stays home and cares for the kids/house. The worker thinks they have the harder job because the responsibility to provide resources for the family is all on them. They see staying home and hanging out with the kids as the much easier task. The caregiver thinks they have the harder job because there is no start and end time. They are always on duty 24/7. They see going to work as a nice change of scenery, getting to interact with other adults and sitting all day at a desk. Both roles are critical and they need to make sure they respect the value and challenges each role brings and faces. Lack of respect will erode the feelings of unity and eventually lead to a break down especially when the key component, communication, is not present. If your sex life is waning and there is no medical cause for it then that is your wake up call that you are not on the same page with your partner any longer. P.S. the roles can be very different. One may be the dreamer that brings fun into the relationship while the other is the planner that makes sure the bills are paid. One may be the artist that make the house a home while the other is the engineer that keeps the pipes from leaking. The list is endless.” — Cor_Seeker

“Let them know that you appreciate them. If you are bad at showing it maybe express that and work on it.” — wallflower321

“Being aware that marriage should be us as a unit, not me vs them. It took me awhile to process the lesson, but I did better the second time around.” — Darunia-Sandstorm

“Don’t sweat the small shit, it’s absolutely not worth it to either of you. Be willing to make compromises and look at the things from your partner’s perspective, or simply in a way that doesn’t place your views and feelings on a pedestal. Try your hardest not to be an uncompromising asshole, that’s also not worth it and both your lives will be much happier and more laid back. Be honest about your feelings and concerns etc. Try your hardest to support each other and work as a team through the difficulties in your relationship and your life and you will be able to conquer anything together. Also try to make time at least every couple of days to do something together that you both enjoy, even if it’s only for an hour or two. eg: watch tv/movie, go for a walk, eat out, paint, listen to music…..whatever, just something. you will cherish those times later and it will bring you closer together.” — Devlin_McGregor

“Never let contempt or resentment grab hold of either one of you. Whatever it is, fix it ASAP. Be vulnerable, be respectful. Once that contempt sets in, it’s pretty much over.” — katydidkat

“Better communication. I worked too much and didn’t really listen to her when she indirectly said not to work so hard. She got fed up and left for someone else.” — 64645

“Been willing to go to therapy and also be as kind to my struggles as I had been to his. And also not allowing his parents interject in our marriage.” — boboddythe2nd

“A thank you. An acknowledgment. Some kind of gratitude. But she just kept taking and I kept giving, until I couldn’t do it anymore.” — sharmaji_ka_papa

“If my partner had wanted to make an effort. Neither of us was perfect, however I was trying to address our issues. Both as a couple and our individual issues. She had zero interest in making any meaningful changes. So I left, no regrets.” — Sonendo

“Nothing. Sometimes people are just young and dumb and make bad choices.” — c_of_emotions