Why You Fear Love So Much, Based On Your Zodiac Sign
ARIES
Ram, you’re a trailblazer who loves living life on the fast lane. What you cherish the most is your independence and space. You’re not afraid to keep heading on your path alone. In fact, you operate better that way. You’re egoistic, selfish and wrapped up in your own needs, and feel like you don’t have the time or energy to pay attention to someone else’s. One of your biggest fears when it comes to love is not only the possibility that it may slow you down, but that it will steal the freedom you’re so fond of. You’re afraid to lose that flame of sovereignty that burns so bright in you.
The truth is, you do crave a relationship and one-on-one love, you’re fire and you love to love with that energy, but you’re afraid you won’t get the breathing room you need. You want a secure relationship that gives you freedom to roam, and in your experience this hasn’t always been the case. Not having your “me” time has caused you to leave a relationship or fall out of love in the past. You’re afraid of losing your strong sense of self again.
Letting someone else into your world is also hard for you. You are impulsive and have fallen in love fast in the past, getting involved with someone before you really got to know them. You’ve known smoldering heat, that only ended up burning out quickly, so now you don’t get attached easily, and in fact, have developed some commitment issues, out of fear of committing to the wrong person.
Opening up also doesn’t come naturally to you. Love terrifies you because it would mean having to show your true self and you have an inherent fear of being rejected and judged. You appear tough, but you have thin skin and deep down are soft. Some accuse you of being egotistical, and you can be, but you have insecurities just like everybody else, and you’re afraid to break out of whatever character you’re playing and show what some of those may be.
Because adding someone else into the mix is hard for you, when you do it’s because that person is extraordinarily special to you. Once you form an attachment, you love with a fiery passion. You’re afraid of that intensity backfiring, not everyone carries the kind of fire you do inside you, and you don’t want to scare someone away with it. It would also be easy for you to get hurt if that passion wasn’t reciprocated.
You’re so afraid of allowing someone to enter your world, change your routine and lifestyle, and allow them to push your boundaries, only to end up heartbroken.
TAURUS
Taurus, you’re stubborn and set in your ways. You hate change, in fact, you can be terrified of it. Your comfort zone is your biggest barrier to intimacy and you don’t let just anyone see into your inner life. These are the walls people see when they mistake you for standoffish, and even for heartless. This is also why you tend to build fortresses to not let love in.
The thing you’re most afraid of changing is your level of independence. You’ve relied on no one but yourself for such a long time, perhaps previously learning that not everyone around you is going to be there for you, that you don’t want to have to feel like you depend on anyone else. You fear relying on someone only to be left alone.
You may appear composed, but you can’t deny that on the inside you’re a true romantic who hopes for a once-in-a-lifetime kind of love, and by your definition that includes stability. You’re a flirt, but you have a hard time choosing someone right for you because when it comes to commitment, you want it to be for the long run. You don’t want to go rearranging your life and adapting to a new one for someone who will one day leave and make you have to adapt and change your life again once they’re no longer in it. Falling in love and entering a relationship can give you that security you long to feel, but the thought of living in that blissful security only to lose it terrifies you. You don’t want to know consistency and stability only to have it ripped away from you.
In the past, you may have thought you found that special one, only to have ended up hurt. You’re afraid of not being needed, so you become self-sacrificing in relationships and people have mistaken your kindness for weakness and taken you for granted. You’re so generous that you’ve been met with partners who didn’t respect your boundaries in the past. Now, you have a hard time letting anyone get close enough to give yourself the chance to experience something new and discover whether or not you can find that unbreakable love you’ve always wanted.
GEMINI
You’re unpredictable. The only predictable thing about you is that you are guaranteed to change your mind and do so constantly. You have an insatiable curiosity in life, about everyone and everything. You’re afraid of love because of your fear of feeling confined in any way.
You’re a flighty air sign who tends to live life flitting around, never wanting to stay put long enough. You like to keep your options open and a relationship scares you because you would constantly wonder if they’re the person who is right for you. Part of you is scared you would always wonder what else is out there. You’re also constantly worried that you’ll lose interest in the person you think you’ve fallen in love with.
You do want love, as prone to flings as you may be, and as thirsty for variety as you may come across, you dream of meeting someone versatile who meshes well with all your personalities and who expands your horizons. You’re afraid that you’ll fall in love and that it won’t be enough, you’re afraid they won’t be as important to you as your need to satisfy your hunger for freedom and to satiate your energetic and curious nature.
What you fear most is the stillness love would bring. You thrive on experience and change and you fear that the stability a relationship would bring would only mean boredom. You constantly need to feel like you’re exploring and growing. You’re afraid love would put a stop to all these things. Nothing scares you more than a predictable life. If you feel like you’re living a scripted life or if you’re not being challenged intellectually or stimulated sexually, you’re bound to change your mind. You don’t want to love a person only to realize you don’t.
You’re also scared of losing yourself to love. Part of you thinks it may mean losing your sense of adventure, your social life, and even your free spirit. You tend to gravitate to casual relationships and not invest too much of yourself, but once you do let yourself be committed and care about one person, you sacrifice and give so much of yourself away. You’re overly generous to your partner and you may have been burned a time or two, so you keep yourself at a safe distance to not lose parts of yourself again.
CANCER
Cancer, you’re the most nurturing and affectionate sign of the zodiac. You care deeply for others and aren’t afraid to show your sensibility to the world. You love people hard and pour your all into relationships without thinking about whether you may get hurt. You’re loyal and dedicated, even when you’ve been drawn to selfish or toxic partners. In the past you may have made unhealthy compromises for the sake of a relationship, or sacrificed your well being in the name of love, and maybe ended up hurt by someone ungrateful. You don’t want the pain that comes with feeling disappointed again.
You’re afraid of love because you don’t want to feel unappreciated. You give your heart and soul when you love and you’re afraid of only getting indifference in return. Like your fellow water sign, Scorpio, you’re afraid of the consequences that may come with not having your love reciprocated with the same intensity.
You have high expectations when it comes to romance and this puts you off because you don’t want to be met with or settle for mediocre love. If it’s not a tale for the books, you feel like it’s not for you. You don’t want to waste your time on the wrong person. Falling in love is serious business for you and it’s something you never take lightly. Choosing to love a person to you means choosing being in it for the long haul. You want closeness and need emotional security more than anything else. When you’ve been disappointed and had your heart broken in the past, it left you a little traumatized to feel that way again, you’re scared of false security, of something that could so easily shatter. You are afraid you will fall in love with someone who is unreliable.
Your sensitive nature also makes you afraid of revealing yourself. Deep down, you’re insecure, and you constantly question whether you’re good enough of a person and you’re scared if you really let someone in they will do the same. You have a strong fear of rejection and therefore of being seen. Your struggle with allowing yourself to show your true self also comes from the fact that you don’t want to show your soft underbelly. You’re afraid exposing how sensitive and gentle you are only to be at someone’s mercy. This is why you find it easier to take care of others, because it means you don’t have to be vulnerable, and love means having to be your most vulnerable.
LEO
Ruler of the fifth house of lovers, romance, and self-expression, you adore everything that has to do with love. It’s one of you favorite things, you love falling in love, you love talking about love, you love love. You fall in love easily, it’s staying in love and finding someone who can match you that’s tough. In a sense, you’re afraid of love because you’re scared of disappointment. You’re so picky when it comes to choosing your partners and you have high standards, afraid of settling down with the wrong person, and that’s perfectly okay, but you take it to an unhealthy level by using it as an excuse to push possible matches away.
You’re the most generous of the Zodiac, Leo, and you’re more comfortable with giving than you are with receiving, but you need someone just as giving as you are. You’re not as interested in gifts as you are with affection and emotional connection. You’re afraid of your emotional needs not being met and you know that will cause you to fall out of love just as easily as you fell into it.
You need admiration, respect, and devotion. You may have given all of these to someone in your past without receiving them in equal measure. Being that you’ve been more head over heels than most, you’ve experienced a greater deal of heartbreak. You don’t want to feel distraught like that again. You’re terrified of going through the pain that comes with a separation, and even more terrified of being lied to. Face it, you’re still carrying around some trust issues from your past.
A big fear you have of relationships is having your partner fall out of love with you. This is mainly due to your own insecurities. You’re so afraid of rejection that you tend to push others away before they do it first. You’re letting love slip you by by talking yourself into believing that letting go of someone is for the best.
You value your pride and your rationality, and you’re afraid love will compromise your senses because when it comes to matters of the heart you tend to go by feeling and instinct. You always have to be in charge, so love scares you because you don’t want to relinquish any kind or amount of control. You don’t like feeling like you don’t have power and feeling things like love, jealousy or heartbreak make you feel like you’re not in control. You strongly rely on your need for independence and it terrifies you to also have to give that sense of power up.
VIRGO
Virgo, you only let people see what you want them to see. You live inside self-constructed protective walls and are skilled at keeping your self-perceived faults hidden. There’s this inability you struggle with to feel worthy and beautiful. This inferiority complex stems from your overly critical and analytical nature. Yes, you’re hard on other people, but the person you’re hardest on is yourself. You’re well too aware of your own flaws and shortcomings.
Your striving for perfectionism and not living up to your own standards disables you from realizing just how worthy of love you are. So, you embark on a pattern of attracting the emotionally unavailable, the hot messes, the fixer-uppers, and lost ones, because they feel like a safe bet. You’re so afraid of someone who actually deserves you because you will constantly fear that you don’t deserve them.
You have an inherent fear of love because of what the possibility of a true connection might mean. The idea of being open and exposed terrifies you. Not only are you afraid that someone might discover that you have a soft and vulnerable heart, but you’re afraid that they’re going to see those things you don’t like about yourself and that they won’t like them either. You place such hard expectations on yourself that you’re afraid you won’t meet those of a potential partner. Here is another part of life where you are letting your analytical abilities dominate your feelings.
Maybe you’ve come to discover the dream you weren’t even aware you had – being uncovered by someone. You’re so terrified of intimacy, but deep down you crave it like you crave nothing else. Perhaps you got your heart broken allowing someone to do just that and then ended up blindsided, not feeling loved or accepted. Now you’re walking around carrying a constant fear of betrayal and unwittingly pushing away possible matches.
You’re continually wavering between extreme paranoia and excessive trust. You need someone you can trust but you’re afraid of falling for someone who will be more important to you than you are to them – yet another consequence of that inferiority complex.
LIBRA
Libra, though your inner indecisiveness and fear of being alone can push you to casual flings and dalliances, but in reality, you want to be swept off your feet. You’re another sign that dreams of true love, in fact, finding a compatible partner is one of your main priorities in life. You want a deep and meaningful relationship, you’re not satisfied with anything less than when it comes to love. The kind of love you dream of involves a total submission of body, mind, and soul. However, you’re constantly struggling with the desire for this kind of love and with your fear of being real.
Much like Virgo, you’re too aware of your own faults. Part of that is because you’re too preoccupied projecting what you consider an ideal image and because you care too much about how you’re perceived. You’re charming and are great at small talk, smiling and putting on a great face, but you’re too afraid to get deeper than the surface. Intimacy scares you because you don’t want to get into the messy realm of emotions. You possess emotional depth but you aren’t good at managing feelings. So, you talk a lot without revealing too much.
You’re afraid of showing your negative traits because you don’t like causing disappointment. It has more to do with causing others pain than causing yourself pain. It is so important for you that everything is always peaceful and harmonious, that you tend to sweep issues under the rug and bottle up your own pain. This has caused you heartbreak and made you feel alone in the past, so you avoid it by simply leaving before you are left.
You are so scared of loneliness that you push love away instead of running towards it. Funny the way you operate, running away from love so you won’t be left alone.
SCORPIO
It’s no secret that your number one fear of love comes from the innate fear you have of betrayal. You’re naturally distrusting of others and suspicious of everyone, especially of those closest to you. This fear is deeper than it appears on the surface, it’s accompanied by a fear of feeling rejected and a fear of abandonment.
The thing you’re most scared of, even more than betrayal and putting your trust into the wrong person, is discovery. You expect others to be 100% honest and open with you at all times, but you show others only what you want them to see, Scorpio. You come off as friendly and open, but in reality you’re reserved and so closed off about your inner workings, that people don’t even know to what extent. Some call you mysterious, but you’re truly a secretive and private soul. Though you appear calm and cool, you hide so much emotion underneath the surface. What your partners never always fail to realize is that they will never truly know you. You’re afraid of love because you’re afraid of showing your true self to the wrong person. When you open up, you want it to be for life. You entrust your secrets, private thoughts and feelings, skeletons, past, and who you are to one person and one person only. This is the person that you come to love with that notorious passion and ferocity of yours. You’re afraid you’ll do just that only to end up betrayed by them, your heart feeling almost irreparable, as it may have been in the past, and not because of the actual act and reason for betrayal, but because you did what you never do for this person, expose yourself, only for you greatest demonstration of love to have been met with disloyalty.
If one had to pick one single word to describe you that word would be intense. Your intensity overflows, especially when it comes to love, and you don’t do anything halfway, especially love. When you love, it’s deeply, utterly and to a certain extent, unconditionally. You love romance and passion, and even your fighting feels passionate. You have this blunt honesty about you. In the past you’ve been told that you’re just “too much” from someone you cared for. Since then, you’ve been scared of coming off as “too much”, so you reign it in when it comes to love, refusing to feel rejected once again.
You’re also afraid of becoming too dependent on someone once again. You’ve fallen in love deep, and you’ve loved hard before, allowing this person to become your whole world. It got to a point where they were your only source of happiness and comfort. You worked hard to find that happiness within yourself after that failed relationship, and it took a lot of time and a lot of work. You’re afraid of loving because you’re afraid you will lose yourself in another person again.
A secret fear of yours, probably the one most holding you back from love right now, is your fear of happiness. You take everything in life so deeply, that mostly everything feels like a life and death situation, life is such a rollercoaster for you, that you don’t know how to embrace happiness when it’s staring at you in the face. Good love can be in front of you and all you will be able to do is think that it’s too good to be true, and then do what you always do, become paranoid and destructive and self-sabotage a good thing.
SAGITTARIUS
Sagittarius, you’re energetic and curious and have an insatiable lust for life. What you crave even more than love is intense experience and adventure. For you, a boring life means you’re not living at all. You fear love because you fear being bored or being boring to someone else. You want passion and excitement on a daily basis and you’re afraid that settling into the routine that comes with love would deny you of this.
You’re eternal singledom not only stems from your fear of the humdrum but because you feel like you have to fiercely guard your freedom. You’re innately restless and nomadic, scared to be in one place for too long. You can’t stand still, and you’ve ran before when you’ve felt yourself getting too close to another person. Your commitment issues aren’t so much a fear of commitment as they are that you associate commitment with being trapped in monotony. You’re afraid love only means you will be slowed down by someone else and you don’t want to sacrifice the things you consider most dear. To have to give up traveling, meeting new people, and having new experiences, would mean to have to give up the life you love.
You’re afraid of love because you don’t want another person to feel like the old ball and chain. The truth is, you’re aware that if anyone has anything to fear it’s your significant other, not the other way around. They have to put up with you because you won’t be the one doing the tolerating. The only right way is your way. You need someone who’ll let you thrive and shine, and will let you do all those things you want, and who will be along for the ride. You’ve felt held back by love in the past so now you’re afraid that person won’t be easy to come by.
While you have a reputation for being a player when it comes to love you’re extremely devoted. You’re an idealist, especially when it comes to love, and you’re afraid of getting too comfortable with the wrong person and settling. You don’t want to become attached to someone only to discover down the line that they just “don’t get it.”
There’s nothing more that you hate than being emotionally manipulated, and you’ve been in the past. You will not stand for it and you don’t have the patience for tears If things don’t go smoothly, you’re out. Your cool logic and unrestrained honesty trump emotion every single time. Frankly, you don’t want to deal with things going sour or with the mess.
CAPRICORN
You have astounding self-control, are responsible, focused and disciplined. You’re afraid of love because the idea of it just seems reckless and unpredictable. You need to formulate, analyze, and have a plan. Love can be uncertain, so you’re very cautious of it. You don’t want to let it in, only for it to wreck your life or make you lose control.
You hate to fail in life and love isn’t something you want to fail at either. You’re realistic and don’t wear rose-colored lenses when it comes to love, you just know that once you’re in it you want it to be for the long haul. You don’t compromise much and you live life carrying so much on your shoulders, that for you, love is an investment. An investment of your efforts, your time, your money, yourself. To have it fail would be a loss that would hit you hard and it would leave you feeling severely taken advantage of and depleted.
It’s hard to win you over, but once your walls are broken down, you’re committed and loyal to a fault, almost stubbornly so. This scares you because you know you won’t leave even when you know you should. It’s hard for you to change your mind once you figure someone out and once you’ve allowed someone in yourself. You’re not easy to get to know, are cautious about who you let dig deep, and you have to have them unriddled first. You don’t want to give up those “hard-earned” results. Again, this stems from your fear of failure. You don’t want to do this only to be left out hung out to dry emotionally.
One of the things you care about most is your pride and how the world sees you. You’re terrified love will make you a fool, and you’re afraid the pain that will come from that will be public and humiliating. You don’t want to look weak.
You want to be seen as strong, refuse to let your vulnerabilities and insecurities show, so you tend to turn away from emotions and you build up defenses. It’s okay for others to lean on you, but love would mean having to lean on someone else and you’re afraid to do that because then you would feel like you weren’t in charge and didn’t have the upper hand.
AQUARIUS
You have a deep need for time alone and for freedom. You look at the world with possibilities. You fear love because you don’t want to feel limited or constrained. You’re loyal and committed when you’re in it. You give your partner the independence you want to be given in return, viewing them as your equal, and you’re the furthest thing from possessive, but you’re afraid they won’t give you the same in return. You’ve been in situations before where things turned sour because of how much your partner wanted you to cherish them over your independence. It was almost smothering. You’re an idealist who wants true love, but you have this great power of distancing yourself emotionally, and you’ve been doing it in order to guard your independence, becoming prone to casual relationships.
This doesn’t mean you don’t want to find a partner. You’re just afraid you won’t find the ideal partner for you who understands how much you value individuality. You don’t want to be in a relationship where the both of you lose it and you lose sight of who you are. In your experience, it’s hard to come by someone who understands your unconventional view on life and your free-spirit, and who would be willing to rewrite the rules of love with you. You don’t want to be normal and typical. You’re afraid the authenticity of your relationship would be lost with the expectations and the need to reach milestones and check things off a list. You don’t want a love like everyone else’s.
You also have a deep fear of not being accepted or reaching approval. This comes from the high expectations you set on yourself, as well as your pride. You’re afraid of love because it would mean having to be transparent 24/7 and you’re afraid to be honest with someone else about how you are.
You’re instinctive, but you trust everyone, some would even call you naive and gullible. In the past, your good nature has been preyed upon. You value logic over emotion, and you don’t want to lose your senses again. You’re afraid love will make you stupid. You’ve depended too much on someone in your past, when it goes against everything you stand for, only to have been left distraught when it ended. You’re afraid of putting yourself out there again.
PISCES
Pisces, you’re afraid of being taken advantage of. You’re selfless and go out of your way to help others without expecting anything in return. You’re incredibly accepting of other people and the thing you want most other than finding love is to help others. You often find yourself drawn to tortured souls and your need to rescue other people leaves you incapable of setting boundaries. More often than not, getting involved with someone has ended up with you feeling used. You’re afraid of love because you don’t want to feel that way again and you know you can’t help but give your all to other people.
You have thought to be in love many times, all someone has to do is say the right things for you to believe you’re in love. It’s not your fault, you’re an incurable romantic who just wants to find the one. It never lasts though, and time and time again you’ve ended up with only disappointment. You’re afraid of love because you know you get attached too easily and you’ve done so time and time again with the wrong person.
You want to avoid heartbreak at all costs, you’ve felt it too many times before. You only have to your blindly loyal and caring nature to blame. You’re unconditionally generous, and too many times you’ve had partners take and take and take until you didn’t have anything left to give. You don’t want to feel that emptiness again. You’re afraid one more heartache, one more letdown, one more blow will be the thing that breaks you and leaves you bereft of faith in love.