Mikhail Nilov

Read This When You Don’t Know How To Move Forward

Our silence does not stop the world from spinning. Dimming our lights doesn’t influence the sun to stop shining. We keep our curtains drawn because we don’t want those reminders—that life is going on outside of us even though we may not want it to. There’s an anger that swells inside of us that doesn’t understand why life has the audacity to go on while we find ourselves unable to move forward. How dare the sky be that brilliant shade of blue. How dare the birds sing and the neighbor’s dog bark, we think. We are so trapped in our despair, our bodies and minds become the jails that we hold the keys to, while we sit inside waiting to be freed.

The irony is that life goes on around us not to mock us, but to remind us.

We forget that the Earth herself has seen the worst in humanity and taken the hardest of its blows, and yet she still twirls and dances around the Universe like a ballerina. She is still moving, generating life, keeping us alive, cradling us when we pass away within her arms, encouraging our rest, whether expected or untimely. Life goes on because it has no other choice. The timelines never go backwards, because no matter how hard it is, we cannot return to yesterday. Memories are there not to stop us but to propel us in the proper direction. We forget how good we felt in our lover’s arms because we still feel the sting of his or her rejection. Instead of walking towards the love we know we want and deserve, we refuse to love again, not realizing that we are only sentencing ourselves to the emptiness that remains.

There will be days we won’t know where to go, or how to go, or when we’ll get there. But this isn’t a race that we run, it’s a life that we live. And we are allowed to stop, to rest, to observe. We don’t always have to hustle or flow, because we can be still and rise. Self-care may be a buzzword these days, but it cannot be understated that you are not selfish for putting yourself first. It only feels wrong when you’ve been conditioned to believe that you should be last. You were not born to be a martyr to your life or to this world. You were born to lead and live a life of your dreams—no matter how big or fantastic or outrageous they may seem.

Every day that you rise and see the Sun on the horizon, that is your queue that you have another chance to get it right. And if you don’t? You at least have the lessons to take with you as you venture forward through this life. You are not a burden. You matter–every thought, feeling and part in your being matters. So do not shrink yourself to make others feel—take up your space and dance around the sun every time you get the chance.