Healing From Heartbreak Isn’t Linear, So Go Easy On Yourself

I had a dream about you last night. You were sitting next to me, put your hand on top of mine, and intertwined our fingers. Your grip was tight and I loosened mine a bit because I was unsure if you really meant to do that. You then took my hand, turned it around so my palm faced yours, and interlocked our fingers. We were full-on holding hands, and I was happy and nervous all at the same time. You then moved your hand to scratch your leg, and when you were finished you lifted it right back up to hold onto mine again.

Then I woke up. I looked around in the dark and realized it was just a dream. I felt hot tears sting my eyes and roll down my face at 5:10 a.m. I have dreamt about you before, but that somehow will be the one that stands out the most. 

Heartbreak is weird. You’re fine, then you’re not. You’re happy, then you’re devastated. You’re breathing great, then there is some invisible force sitting on your chest and it hurts and it is hard to think straight. 

There is not a timeline on building a connection with someone. There is not a certain date, minute, or hour that states it is okay to start loving someone. In turn that means there is not a set period of time when you will stop hurting when a connection has been severed. You cannot rush healing. If you rush it and try to breeze past it, it will always catch back up to you. You will miss them in small moments, where something minuscule happens and you pick up the phone to tell them before realizing they do not care to hear it anymore. You will see something funny and want to share the moment, and you will realize they are not there to laugh with you now. The laughing will turn to tears because you miss them so much.

Believe me when I say that every day it will get better. Time does heal hurting hearts. There is also nothing weird or wrong with you because you feel stuck in the cycle of how much you love and miss them. It just means you love people hard, and when you love them, you mean it. I promise all that love inside of you will blossom back out for the right people. It is hard to believe that it will get better, but I promise it does. One day you will wake up and the ache will be less than the previous day. But just remember when you dream of them that that is all it is—a dream. 

Continue to let go, just as fast as I did when I opened my eyes this morning at 5:10 a.m.