How To Love Them Better, Based On Their Birth Order

Firstborns

To love a firstborn better, recognize and appreciate their perfectionism. They often take charge and assume responsibility, so it’s important to acknowledge their efforts and hard work. First borns may be used to feeling under-appreciated or like their support and responsibilities go mostly unnoticed – in their family, their efforts can sometimes be seen as a given, leading them to take on many burdens without being thanked for it. You should also be careful to give them space to be vulnerable and remind them that it’s okay not to be perfect. Celebrate their achievements and encourage them to relax and let go sometimes – taking on responsibilities for them without them having to ask you for help can mean a lot to them, and it will also show them that you can be relied upon no matter what.

Middle Children

Middle children thrive on feeling unique and valued. To love them better, take time to understand their individual interests and passions, separate from their siblings. They’re great listeners and will almost never ask you to support them in return, but when you ask them meaningful questions and give them plenty of space to speak in conversations, they’ll truly appreciate it. They might want to chat with you about the day-to-day things they rarely get to tell anyone else, or they may be more interested in having deep conversations. They are natural mediators, so make sure their voice is heard and their feelings are validated. Encourage them to pursue their interests and show genuine interest in what makes them different.

Youngest Children

Youngest children are often used to being taken care of, and this is a great way for you to show your appreciation for them. However, if you’re focused on loving them even better, you should support their independence. Encourage them to make their own decisions and pursue their own goals. This shows that you value them as a person outside of your relationship, and it will also allow them to feel validated by themselves and their accomplishments, not just you. While younger children may enjoy being the center of attention, ensure that you also recognize their achievements as adults, not just as the ‘baby’ of the family – this will be extremely meaningful to them. 

Only Children

Only children usually value deep, meaningful connections. They want to get to know people on a personal level – they don’t have siblings their age to share childhood nostalgia or memories with, so they may want to chat about past experiences with you or just explore your shared values together. To love an only child better, spend quality one-on-one time with them. They often appreciate thoughtful conversations, so engage with them on topics they’re passionate about – they also admire vulnerability, so don’t shy away from sharing with them. Respect their need for alone time, but also ensure they feel included.