13 Things You Should Absolutely Judge Your Date For Doing

You’re on a date, things seem to be going well, and then your date does something that gives you the ick. You might feel compelled to give them the benefit of the doubt. We’re often encouraged to ignore our gut instincts in favor of making the other person more comfortable. But sometimes it’s totally okay to judge your date (and promise yourself that this is the last time you’ll see them). If they do any of these 13 things while on a date with you, you have permission to judge.

1. Insisting on ordering for you.

While it isn’t inherently wrong for someone to want to order for you, the trouble starts when they won’t take no for an answer. If you say you want to order for yourself and they order for you anyway, that’s a major red flag that they’ll ignore your protests in other regards.

2. Never asking you questions.

This happens a lot. A woman will ask her dates all sorts of questions, and then he’ll answer her…and that’s where it stops. He never turns it around on her, never asks her questions. If your date feels more like you’re interviewing a job applicant, cut them loose.

3. Giving one word answers.

Why even bother talking?

4. Being rude to staff.

This is a classic red flag. No one should be treating waitstaff like they’re second class citizens.

5. Admitting that Andrew Tate “has some good ideas.”

It’s a good idea to bring up podcasts on the first few dates. Even if a guy is like, “well, yeah, he’s awful, but…” everything he says after that “but” is something to be judged. No, Andrew Tate doesn’t have good ideas, and neither does your date.

6. Mansplaining your job to you.

It’s your job. You’re the expert. Unless he has the same job but has been doing it longer, there’s no reason why he should be acting superior. And even then, yikes.

7. Talking shit about their exes.

This isn’t the flex they think it is. Sure, if one of their exes was bad, okay. (Why are they bringing it up, though? That’s weird in its own way.) But if every single one of their exes was “crazy” or a “bitch” then they’re the real problem.

8. Arriving completely underdressed.

Obviously if you’re sitting there judging that they’re not wearing designer shoes, you’re the problem, but there’s a fine line. If you’re at a nice restaurant and they’re wearing their sweaty gym clothes, that’s different. Hygiene is important, and so is showing your date that you put some thought and effort into how you present yourself.

9. Forgetting everything you talked about on dating apps.

You get to the date and they ask you questions that you already answered in your texts or on your profile. Judge them for not actually listening to you or remembering who you are.

10. Quizzing you on your interests.

Asking questions is great. But when you say you like sports and they start drilling you about trivia, that’s a red flag. If you feel like they don’t believe you like that thing, and they’re trying to catch you with more and more obscure trivia questions, they’re not worth your time. You’re there for a date with a person, not a gatekeeper.

11. Asking you uncomfortable questions about sex.

There’s a time and a place, and a first (or even third or fourth depending on how the dates have gone) isn’t the time for innuendo and creepy sex questions. If something feels off, listen to your gut.

12. Judging you for what you order.

You order a burger and they imply you should have gotten a salad. They poke fun at the lack of meat on your plate or your “unsophisticated” chicken tenders. Keep the food and get rid of the date.

13. They make you feel unsafe.

No matter what, if they do something that makes you feel unsafe or uncomfortable, you have full, unquestioned permission to judge the hell out of them as you block them on all forms of communication and social media. They don’t deserve an explanation–silence is enough.